Wonder.
Ever wonder why we do the things we do as couples? Ever think what you do may seem natural to you but to your partner its harmful? do you care enough to be concerned? The little things that she may look for, you might think what the fuck am I doing this for? You think she's controlling, she is genuinely concerned.
My friend, who is a lesbian now said to me once, that she told the man she was involved with if you haven't heard from me in 24 hours, assume I'm cheating. As silly as it may sound, as simple as it is, communication is so advanced you can write a text by your voice. blue tooth a though of you, or even skype a lil sex on the drive home. shit, twitter me to thrill me before you come and fuck me.
When the woman that adores your silly ass, has reached that yellow line, before the red your dead line. you need to proceed with caution. advice is look at what has been done, by both of you. you will see a circle of events. it doesnt stop. at what point do either one of you say stop. lets change this, this isn't right?
TIT for TAT?
I'm not gonna text her, OK-so when she does it to you, you take it as an attitude. Maybe she is afraid that your gonna yell at her for what ever is going on in your life. she calls you, she's suppose to except that you don't answer? how bout you bump her call for what ever reason. when she does it to you, you have a fit. your talking mad shit, but did you think that she might be calling cause she might have gotten into some shit, bad day at work, car broke down or maybe she wanted to give you motivation to bring your ass home? sure she might have blown your shit up in the past, but past has a tendencey to predict you future with her. she might be on the side of the road calling you, but another man, stopped to help her out, and might even took her out after the fact to make her feel better. she came home to you, but that person had a impact on how she's thinking about you now.
Admission and Transition
In my previous blogs Ive admitted that im the side chick. Ive really been the stick by your side bitch. we've stood by each other. the thing that gets me, is why ... after all this time you cant get it. its the simple things, i bet -no i guarantee you have texted everybody and then some. You've talked to everyone but me. I don't need a phone bill to see it, im speaking from experience. when you love someone like i love the cable guy, its a hard difficult love that you learn from every single day. it humbles you, because in all honesty any black woman would have told this cat to kick rocks. Im not white, im Italian so for me to even muster the words stuggots is hard enough. I try to put myself in place to where i can understand, even have sympathy because i dont know the whole situation. I only know what you have said, and how you act here with me. Even if he would read this now, he would say im being selfish or that im being fucked up for this.
Reality is though, sometimes you have to read the whole story to get the understanding that you need to proceed.
I have to reflect on a comment my asshole male friend said and that was im insignificant to him. Because of that, im like a favorite shirt that wash and wear ever. im put in the dryer ands sometimes i dont make it back on the hanger, im balled up some where until he needs that close nit fit of the favorite again.
So when do i become significant again, or when can i have that old tshirt feel? kinda like my flannel shirt. the one he wants to burn off me. When you think about it, hes half right. which burns my ass. Significant, is not what i was actually hoping for. equivalence was of none in this relationship. monogamy, is what i give him. Respect is all i ever asked for.
When you have a woman that doesnt want anything, except you. Willing to do for you, but cant because once you have left that home, that bed and gone home to your family, there is where it ends. im not a second thought. you have no worries, no insecurities of another lurking in the pussy bush. Woman learn from men, understand this goes back to cave man... you clubbed me, took me to the cave, had me cook fish and dino eggs and sew your fur for warmth. bore your cave kids, and sat and watched how the cycle began. what men dont understand or dont want to, is that your teaching me.
I can do it too..
all the times you say that its business, really... what do you do for a living? wheres the money from that?
She's my friend, so is he... he's my friend and on Saturday night when you are at your partners house, im gonna go to my girls house. im going to the movies. i went by myself, do i have someone there? i didnt say which one, and you dont seem to ask. since you dont sleep here at night, why should i? you have keys to mine, you come and go as you please.
A silent woman speaks volumes. food for thought, if your wife's tripping and your side chick well shes tolerating you. She loves you to death, but seriously your on that yellow line before the red. what the fuck are you doing? It cant always be the woman. it sure in the fuck isnt me... i dont live with your ass, (and maybe thats a good thing.) You have dinner with your family. I eat alone 92% of the time. Even a simple good morning to me, makes a big difference. i think of you enough to say it, to say i love you. it comes at random, but at least when it does come it makes you know you gave a moment to tell me, and made me feel better and less insecure. You say that things have changed in your marriage, but your still married for what reasons? your scared to death she'll find out, but you hurt the one that is down for you. You lie, you play games, and you could really have it all with this one. Do you really think theres better than this, and the willingness after the fact i continue to give with no second thought? years of empty beds, empty food containers at home, and lots of tears, because you cant take a minute just to ask if im ok or i love you add up. When it reaches 100% there wont be a warning, you gave me mine when you said that you were tired of my shit. I came to reality, love is a beautiful thing, but your not loving me the way we used to. Simple is success.
Did you ever stop to think damn, i might be the reason she cheated., and left me. Pay attention my friend, your hurting me, and killing us. You have no one to blame but your self, and no one to listen but you. Dont let the bad overcome you, you have a good one.
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